Social Media: Twitter Is A Hungry Bird

I got turned down for a job for not having enough Twitter followers.

When did invisible social media become the indivisible job deciderer? I thought a resume, experience and references made me an attractive candidate. I had no idea that my popularity in the ethosphere impacted how well I might perform for an employer in the real world.

I was laid off in 2013, from a job I loved. I immediately went into battle mode, dispatching my resume as soldiers. I'm a former U.S. Marine; sometimes that distinction floats me to the top of the pile. But I took a direct hit when a vulnerability from my perceived weakness on Twitter sank my battleship. I was on a mission; however, and continued to fire off resumes to companies and recruiters with the rapidity of a machine gun.

I never received one response. Hostile or friendly. Not a call or email or.... a tweet. My resume is me, a tumbleweed rolling through the vast, wide-open job land, accompanied by the sound of crickets.

I still send them out, but now with the hope that I do get a call. I'll answer, "Oh, you saw my resume! You're calling me for an interview? What the hell is wrong with you?! I've sent it to thousands of others with no response. No, I can't come in; you're clearly insane."

Maybe it's my fault. I'm on Twitter and Instagram and Pinterest and Google Plus and LinkedIn. I accept every BBQ invite as an opportunity to send out smoke signals.

It's hard to tell the exact tone of a tweet. I need more than 140 characters to establish subtext. I wrote a book about my time in the Marine Corps (The Pink Marine, available October 2015 on Amazon). I also write comedy, I write about food and I cook on television -- so my messages are a blended variety. Recently, I snapped a picture of a butterfly in my garden. I uploaded the picture and asked for recipes. It lost me several followers that either didn't recognize my joke or have no sense of humor. Of course I wasn't really cooking that butterfly. I takes a lot more than one to make Butterfly Pie.

We're all floating, hovering. The fragility of followers is like that of life. (I can't tweet that, it's depressing. People want to see happiness and joy in their feed. Despite the time I spend in an armchair due to my lack of employment, I'm no armchair philosopher. At least not with my small flock.)

Getting a job is a tough business. There's strength in numbers, and I'm trying to bolster mine on all social media platforms.

Andy Borowitz tweeted (to his 564K followers),"There's a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life."

I want to find that balance. It's hard when no one really understands the cause and effect of this firestorm yet. I'm not sloshing my drink, like a battle-scarred old Sergeant in the canteen after taps, "What's it all matter anyway?" I need to make money, so to me it's about results and marketing. Mark Cuban applies that more liberally, tweeting to his 3.3 million followers, warnings that our social media presence and use makes us targeted pawns for advertisers. He predicts marketers will soon zero in on consumers with an accuracy that is dangerous.

With my U.S.M.C. rifle skills, I wonder if Cuban's hiring.

Wish me luck by following me on twitter please! I sincerely appreciate it. 

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